When I say, "I Love You"

When I say I love you,
It means I dare to
Step on my delicate dreams,
Bruise my own soul
With my foolishness,
Cut my own hands
To let you go.


-Nuruljannah-

Akad Nikah

You wear black songkok,
Your baju melayu is as white as
Pristine snow.
I wear black baju kurung,
As black as a crow.

Aku terima nikahnya
Dengan mas kahwin yang tersebut.

Your smile blinds me,
You shine brightly,
While I sip salt tea.

Aku terima nikahnya
Dengan mas kahwin yang tersebut.

Why do when I smile,
It feels like tearing my lips
With a blade?

Aku terima nikahnya
Dengan mas kahwin yang tersebut.

Only Allah can listen
To my silent prayers,
Your dreams did come true,
I cannot help it,
I sip salt tea.

Aku terima nikahnya
Dengan mas kahwin yang tersebut.

You wear black songkok,
Your baju melayu is as white as
Pristine snow.
I wear black baju kurung,
As black as a crow.

-Nuruljannah-

That Ring on Your Left Finger

I see a shiny
Ring
On your left finger.

Like an arrow
It shoots me
Right on the bullseye.

You curve
A deep
Stealthy smile.

I mask myself
With saccharine smiles
Hoping others would not
Smell my despair.

I know He is there
Watching my invisible tears
Counting my drops of blood.

He did give me
What I desire most,
To see your smile
Like the radiant sun.

Please tell me
Why does my heart
Shed blood
When I see that ring
On your left finger?

-Nuruljannah-

Noises

These noises
Are like mad thunders,
And ravenous lions,
They are
Grayish, deadly
Clouds.
Do not let them take
You
Away from me.

-Nuruljannah-

Without You

I wish I could clear all the noises inside my head as I need Him to pass my test. I wrote this long time ago. Here goes:

Without You
Without You,
I would go astray,
Like an aimless traveller,
Without a map and compass.
The loneliness would be my garment,
The salt water I would drink,
And the perpetual blaze
Would be my future abode.
My volatile lump of meat
Could drag me away from
Reaching your Eternal Love,
As it is bathed with desires.
Never leave me,
I can only implore
Beseech and plead,
As I need You to lead me to
You.

-Nuruljannah-

Repetition

Sometimes having a cup of coffee and composing a lousy poetry could mend your heart a bit. Well, not really. Ar-Rahman is always there. Sometimes these noises in my heart have blinded me from sensing His warmth and closeness. By the way, I wrote a poem entitled "Repetition" in my dusty notebook. This is not about God, Ar-Rahman. It's about someone who I really care about, the one who's out of my reach. Here goes:

Repetition
I sing in disconsolate tune,
I see you there,
Untouchable, unobtainable,
My soul sings the loudest croon,
As sombre as the darkness blooms,
I would never be there,
So I sing in disconsolate tune,
In the stillness,
I see you there,
Untouchable, unobtainable,
My soul sings the loudest croon,
As sombre as the darkness blooms.

-Nuruljannah-

To My Dearest Buddy

Both hearts are teeming

With unintended scars.

Our views are discordant

Like bumper cars.

Like a wounded soldier

We retreat to our shell,

I miss our ridiculousness,

Our endless tale.

We used to laugh

Like there is something

Tickling our soul,

I do not want our friendship ends with parting.

My heart is as fragile as

a dream,

You know it is not invincible 

When it comes to him.

I know you are concerned,

I am too,

Both have different interpretations

Perhaps, we both have wrongly construed.

People have different methods,

When they walk through the path of thorns,

All I want is for you to be here with me,

While eating ice-cream cones.

I know I love to weep,

As I cannot catch the wind,

I do not intend to make you weak,

I just need your shoulder to lean on.

What makes me sadder

You are fading away too,

What should I do?

I don't want us to be two.

-Nuruljannah-